Tonight we had a Cokie the Cat memorial celebration. I thought I was doing OK, almost 3 months since he passed, but Christmas hit me like a ton of bricks. I posted about dealing with Chrismas after the Loss of a Pet last night, and decided to celebrate him BIG TIME on Christmas, rather than letting it be so sad.
We made a Christmas toast to Cokie – a lot of toasts, actually, as part of a belated memorial celebration. We drank a whole bottle of pink champagne (’cause that’s my favorite kind!), ate potato chips and too much candy from our stockings (Almond Roca and Good & Plenty : ? ), and watched Cokie videos.
We laughed and cried and hugged each other. We lighted sage to take away the sadness, and sweet grass for good energy and good memories. We cut through the negativitay with candles and incense and our Tibetan singing bowl. We made our living room table into a Cokie altar with a portrait, his box of ashes and a few simple things
After a while and more champagne, Michael brought out a half a package of the Poise pads we used to put in Cokie’s manpants. That did it…
We added a branch from our Christmas bouquet that he’d be chewing on if he were here right now, a dish of his favorite bonita flakes, the few toys of his we didn’t give away, his black denim manpants, which I kept when I gave away all his others (and I put just one poise pad up there to represent the big bag), his business cards, our “MOL Merry Christmas!” Cokie Claus mug, the card Wanda (@MaggieTKat) sent us with the locket from his anipal friends, his Anipal Academy Award, his painted rock portrait (with manpants) from @TinyPearlCat – and more.
We laughed about the funny things he used to do and how I was both his mama and his bitch. ; )
We talked about how brave and handsome and strong and awesome he was, what a HUGE personality he had, and how lucky we were that he picked me that day at the shelter – then, how he probably put his giant tiger paw on every nose that got close enough at the shelter! Maybe I was the only one to fall for his ploy. Ha!
We reminded each other that while he was our best Christmas present every year, we were also the best thing that ever happened to him, every day, every year, and that he lived his life to the fullest and got every last drop out of it. He was a real piece of work, that little fluffy guy. So there’s nothing to regret.
We can miss him, but we no longer have to mourn him. He will always be Michael’s luck dragon and my heart cat.
Thank you all for your love and kindness during our grieving. Michael wanted this private but I explained that I wanted to share our entire story, even the deeply sad and personal part, because it would help me to express it and hopefully release it, and it might help someone some day, trying to find their own way through the loss of a pet – to the joy of having experienced such love and the growth as a human being that goes with it, that finally comes on the other side.
How lucky was I to be Cokie the Cat’s mom? Very!